Lawd.*

You're something else; you do stuff for spite. I see that now.
I had the time to delete it now. But all you will do when I delete
mine is create another one like this huh. Thanks for letting me
know how it is Kimi. And would you stop playing it's not
funny when I play into it huh.
-Mike.



I'm laughing.
I know.. I probably shouldn't be but, hey..
I am.. and I can't stop. Come on now..
Are you fucking serious? That from the same
person that has had "Looking for that special someone"
in EVERY profile made before and after we began
seeing each other and I'm supposed to take that
shit seriously? PLEASE spare me. "I share accounts
with my friend so he can check up on his girl."
Wait.. WHAT?! I'm stupid. I must be an imbecile for
someone to think that I'd believe that shit.
Get outta here! Lmfao! Something else.

Maybe it's the fact that he woke me up at
8:13 to ask me how I was doing.. I answer..
No response until 10.. That's was awesome.
Then he gives me the "Guess you're busy/Later"
skit and doesn't respond again until what.. 1 O'Clock?
THEN.. wait.. this is the coup de grace..
He tells me hey, I wanna just talk about us
tomorrow [Tuesday].. I say fine.. That's why
I actually got my ass out of bed at 8:13.
THE ENTIRE DAY PASSES!
The EN-TI-RE day and not one freaking
mention of anything related to us besides
when I asked when I'm gonna see him.

The Answer: I'm trying to figure out an
exact day.. PFFT! Don't tell me an exact day
because when that day comes.. what happens?
"Something came up with my grandmother."
"I'm sick with a fever."
"What are you doing tomorrow instead?"

It never fails and it's sad that I'm accustomed to this shit.
Man.. I just gotta laugh. On some "HA! HAHA!" type shit
because I'm the one that puts up with it and
sticks around and argues about it. I'm the
one that gets DUMPED over it. And I'm the one
that says I'm sorry like it's my freaking fault.
So meet me.
My name: Stupid Kimi.

Why?*

Why do I do this to myself? I mean, shit.. it's easy as hell
for other people to just say, "Eh, fuck it, I'm done"
and I can't for whatever reason.

Sometimes I want to. I mean, I really do. I wanna just say, "Screw you!
I'm not dealing with this!" But I can't. I'm not... I dunno.. strong
enough to do it I guess. No one else has had the same
effect on me so far and I doubt anyone else will so I'm just..
Stuck..
Stuck wondering is this where I wanna be?
Is there where my hard life inevitably grounded me?
Is this where I'm gonna stay fighting to prove myself?
I hope not. I hope I.. no WE can change and be happy
without any doubts or accusatory statements that muddy
up what would be PERFECT under any other circumstance.

Why me? Why can't I let go or at least be free of drama?
Shit, even my no-good son's father is engaged.. allbeit to an
ugly broad.. but he's still engaged.. Inked her name on his
hand and all that and I'm.. pause.. WE are nowhere near that.

I never forgave the 80/20 betrayal and perhaps that's what's holding
me...US back from being "perfect" for one another.
There's ALWAYS someone saying, "Walk away, Kimi"...
But I honestly can't do it as easily as anyone else can.
Why can't we just grow up?!




[Yes, I took this.]

Photoshop Fun Part 2.*

Original Image of Aubrey


Photoshopped Image
[Background is kinda gay but ehh.]

Here's some more PS for you.
My buddy/personal cool-factor;
AUBREY GRAHAM! Even though he said
call him Drake from now on.

You're still Aubrey to me!
-Kimi.

Photoshop Fun.*

Photoshop Trial #1.

Original Image.

So I've been playing with Photo Shop CS2
today and that's what I came up with.
I was gonna swap out the whole back-
ground but then I couldn't decide
where to put the guy in the image [Space_Ghost].
But yeah.. I cleaned up his razor burn,
changed the color of the alarm behind him,
and turned his background black and white.
Not too bad considering I did it in 15.
Click the image to enlarge and leave
constructive criticism.
-Kimi.

Tired.*

Arguing is taking it's toll on me.
I'm tired of the implied HELL that
we go through and it's gotta stop.
It's not just one of us that
does it either.
It's a combination of my emotions
and your emotions and my opinions
and your opinions that cause this
volatile situation that we
CONSTANTLY put our selves in.

It's at the point now where you
saying, "I'm sorry", is a monotonous,
statement that I don't care for.
Do you realize how hard that is?
To not care if the person you
love apologizes?
I could lie and say that it's
just another issue we have
but I'd be lying my ass off.
We're great for each other.
We balance in a great way when
we're on good terms and we make
each other laugh and feel great..
..Most of the time.

I can't help but love you.
If I explain our situation to friends,
they say leave and don't look back.
And I've tried and I can't.
I honestly can not give you up.
I'll be ok for a couple of days..
And then it's like.. I need to
talk to you.. I need to look
in your eyes and see my reflection.
I need your tight hugs and your
Trident/Winterfresh [lol] flavored
kisses to make me feel good.

You are the person I love.
You always have and you always will.
I can't even try to convince myself
otherwise because in reality, I'd
probably be the opposite
of sane if it wasn't for you.

I LOVE YOU!

Me.*

Taken from Brandi. ABC of Me
The Letter A
Are you available?:	Not in the slightest.
What is your age?:	Nineteen.
What annoys you?:	Lots of things.
The Letter B
Do you live in a big house?:	Not really.
When is your birthday?:	October 23rd.
Who is your best friend?:	I'd have to say Ace since no one else is close.
The Letter C
What's your favorite candy?:	Twizzlers.
Who's your crush?:	Rick Gonzalez.
When was the last time you cried?:	Couple weeks ago.
The Letter D
Do you daydream?:	Yes.
What's your favorite kind of dog?:	Cocker Spaniel.
What day of the week is it?:	Monday.
The Letter E
How do you like your eggs?:	Most days: scrambled.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?:	Too many damn times.
What's the easiest thing ever to do?:	Love.
The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane?:	Yessir.
Do you use fly swatters?:	Nah.
Have you ever used a foghorn?:	Yeah, it's cool.
The Letter G
Do you chew gum?:	Yessir.
Are you a giver or a taker?:	50/50.
Do you like gummy candies?:	Yes.
The Letter H
How are you?:	I'm okay right now.
What color is your hair?:	Brownish.. something lol
The Letter I
What's your favorite ice cream?:	Vanilla.
Have you ever ice skated?:	No, but I want to.
Do you play an instrument?:	Nah.
The Letter J
What's your favorite jelly bean brand?:	Jelly Belly/Starburst.
Do you wear jewelry?:	Earrings, rings, necklace.
The Letter K
Who do you want to kill?:	Short list. No names.
Do you want kids?:	Got one. Need one more.
Where did you go for kindergarten?:	Trinidad.
The Letter L
Are you laid back?:	Yes.
Do you lie?:	Yes.
The Letter M
Whats your favorite movie?:	Too many.
Do you still watch Disney movies?:	Sometimes.
Do you like mangos?:	Yeah.
The Letter N
Do you have a nickname?:	Not really.
What is your real name?:	Kimi.
Whats your favorite number?:	Don't have one.
Do you prefer night over day?:	Mostly see Ace during the day so day.
The Letter O
What's your one wish?:	To have 100 wishes.
Are you an only child?:	I wish.
The Letter P
What one fear are you most paranoid about?:	Losing him.
What are your pet peeves?:	Too many.
What's a personality trait you look for in people?:	Humor.
The Letter Q
What's your favorite quote?:	Regardless of if it offends you I'm still gonna be me.-Kimi.
Are you quick to judge people?:	Always.
The Letter R
Do you think you're always right?:	Nah.
Are you one to cry?:	Sometimes.
The Letter S
Do you prefer sun or rain?:	Sun. His nose runs when it rains. Lol.
Do you like snow?:	I like how it looks. After-effects.. not so much.
What's your favorite season?:	Fall.
The Letter T
What time is it?:	12AM.
What time did you wake up?:	9AM.
When was the last time you slept in a tent?:	Never.
The Letter U
Are you wearing underwear?:	Yeah.
Underwear or boxers?:	I like boxers but underwear.
The Letter V
What's the worst veggie?:	I dunno. I like all.
Where do you want to go on vacation?:	Paris or Tokyo.
The Letter W
What's your worst habit?:	Saying nothing when I mean something.
Where do you live?:	Queens, NY.
What's your worst fear?:	This question was asked already.
The Letter X
Have you ever had an x-ray?:	A couple.
Have you seen the x-games?:	Yessir.
Do you own a xylophone?:	Used to.
The Letter Y
Do you like the color yellow?:	It's ok.
What's one thing you yearn for?:	Ace.
The Letter Z
Whats your zodiac sign?:	Libra/Scorpio.
Do you believe in the zodiac?:	When we're fighting, hell yes.
Favorite zoo animal?:	Panda.

Missed.*

Jeez.
I'm sorry.
I've neglected my blog so much recently.
My humble apologies.

Life has just been.. super hectic.
No more Toys R Us job.
No apartment.
No social life.

But it's graaaavy.
Got a dumbass liar out my
life and sent him out with a big bang.
[Salutes Dean.]

I'm saying, don't lie about me or
your run ins with me on a COMMUNITY
site where unfortunately, my name is "known".
Come on.. that was really dumb.

Anywho.. Doing me and living life.
Still got some change in the bank.
Came out on top.
Still love Ace and opening up more
and more to him every day.

Can you believe it's been almost five years?
Jeez, not many can say they've been hooked
on the same person for even half that time.

Still no license but it's cool.
My MetroCard works just fine.
Lmfao. Ugh, that sucks to type seeing
as I have a car parked outside.

Oh well, I'll live.
Back to ME.
I've had a boost in confidence.
It's not a matter of more attention
or anything to that nature.
I'm just... REALLY digging Kimi these days.

When someone says something cruel
or unwarranted, it just seems funny.
I look in the mirror and all I can say
is.. "Damn, I'm fucking gorgeous."